Thursday, June 28, 2007

Since no one is interested in answering my question we move on... :)

Some interesting developments have happened over the last week or so. An old employer of mine called to see if I was interested in coming to work for them for the summer. I am quite happy to . I used to teach for them and now they want me to come back and teach their French program. That's the funny thing about French, no one can speak the damn language in this country. Thank god I paid attention in high school! So, as a nice bonus, I will be stepping slowly back into the working world and by doing so getting my brain back into that mode. I will also be making some extra money which means that I can buy a new work wardrobe without any guilt! (which of course is the most important thing here:P)

I am pleased that I now seem to have the power in the work situation. Speaking a second language seems to have worked incredibly well for me. Maybe I should imrove my skill.....hmmm......

Monday, June 18, 2007

Here's a question.....

If women are supposed to be the childbearers and the caregivers, why are we not provided with more fortitude? Why are we not granted more mental and emotional endurance?
Just a curiousity...

Snot, sweat and other body fluids....

Well, it's official. I have received my "Mom papers"

I got puked on the other day.

It was creepy. I swear it happened in slow motion. I was holding Mason just after his bath, rocking him to sleep and he just opened his mouth and.... out it flew. It hung in midair for a moment, just long enough for me to see where it was going to land, and then dropped. It gave me just enough time to move my arm so it landed on me (What? Not on something else? No, Must protect the furniture! ) I was then covered from neckline to waist in.... you guessed it.... baby barf.

It's official.
Puke on me before puke on anything else equals a frightening shift in priorities that no one warned me was coming.

Someone needs to warn the people....
Spread the word.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

What? Who am I?

I am shocked.

I just went to write my "About Me" on Facebook. I froze. I cannot describe who I am. I do not have a defined sense of who I am anymore. I think I used to, but becoming a mother threw it all into question.

Back to the drawing board I guess.....
Am I making too much out of this?

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Coming through the darkness.
Yup, that's me.
A spelunker of the darkness.

I got so caught in being a victim of my situation. I was so frustrated with the lack of sleep, the constant demands on my time, the never ending list of things to accomplish that I simply had not stopped, looked up and realized where I actually was. I am in the presence of life unfolding.

Duh! How much happier a moment in your life can there possibly be?

This is MUCH easier said than it is believed, but I have finally stopped.
Looked up.
And realized.

I have it all. A home. A family of my own. A husband who loves me, maybe not perfectly, but deeply and truly. I have realized one of my dreams. I have lived in TO. I wanted to do this and I have done it. There are many people who don't have these things and I do.
I am beginning to appreciate that.

I think that seeing the naturopath has solved one of the big problems that was keeping me down. I had felt so physically awful for so long that I had lost perspective. She has given me energy. Energy has given me life again.

Good Night :) Sleep well all. My baby is, I will and I hope you do to.

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Hip Mom; Domesticated

I fixed it!

My son has very thick ankles. So thick that his baby shoes, the hippest little baby shoes to have, do not fit. They leave blisters on his poor little ankles. I devised a solution to this problem about a month ago, but only found all the materials, the time and a cooperative son all at the same moment yesterday.

Said shoes have elastics holding the ankles together, so I removed the elastic and replaced it with a longer piece, thereby making the shoes fit. This is not as easy a project as it sounds. Once you cut the elastic it wants to run and hide in the shoe, so you have to use one of your presumably three hands to hold the one end, cut the elastic and hold the other end. Then, you have to tie the new elastic to the old elastic to pull it through. Once it is pulled through, the shoe must be installed on the wriggling and curious babies foot and the elastic measured to fit. Tie it off and cut. Yay! Shoe that fits! Now to make a pair...... half an hour later we have a pair that fits. I can't wait to do the next pair......

So, I fixed it! Without having to spend more than a Dollar. Good for me :) Welcome to motherhood... where necessity and frugality are the mothers of invention :)

Monday, June 04, 2007

Happy Thoughts

This Mama is going for a professional Massage tonight.... I can hardly wait....

To add to the generally thrilling news, I just bought a new mattress to be delivered on Wednesday, AND the air will be getting turned on this week. So, I figure, don't get in my way until about Thursday, and you might have a chance of actually living if you might possibly anger me :)

Soooooooo excited right now:)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

For the Love of Happiness, and Sanity .

I made a decision a few days back that I have been entirely too negative of late. So, I made the executive decision to change my perspective.

Motherhood is not simply a monumental change in ones life. It is a complete paradigm shift in ones reality. Like your old clothes, your old beliefs simply do not fit quite right anymore. So, as you shop for new blue jeans you also shop for new perspective. Some people find it right away, like those girls who fit immediately back in to their old blue jeans. Others, while taking eight months to squeeze back into what used to be a favorite pair of pants also take the better part of the first year to realign their beliefs with this new role that has been thrust upon them.

I am part of the latter group.

I never thought it would take me this long to habituate to motherhood. For some reason I thought that it would fall into my life as easily as a peanut butter bagel in the mornings. Ha. Was I ever wrong.

So.... where was I?
Ah yes. Paradigm shifts from being entirely too negative.

I must love myself, and my reality. This mind shift is the only way that I am going to accept and retrain my mind to the reality that 10pm is my bedtime, and as much as I might want to sleep in, 6am is my wake up call everyday of my life now. No more weekend sleep in's. There is a trade off of course, one gets to watch life take shape. That hasn't been enough up to now. I am trying to change that.

Wish me luck :)

Friday, June 01, 2007

Motherhood is not for Wimps and other such truisms

I have come to the conclusion that you need to be ten people in order to be a mom.


If you are my sister in law, yes.
If you are me, not so much.

This mom is flirting with PPD. I have good days and bad days, like most moms. My good days are great. My bad days are terrible. Here's hoping today is a good day.