Saturday, November 01, 2008

We bend, not break.

I have a Spirited Child

My son is not the child that I expected to have. We all dream of having the perfect child. Quiet or boisterous, but mindful of mom and dad and cooperative. My son is not these things. He is intense and persistent, long after I have given up he is still holding strong. He is louder, faster and just MORE than most other kids you know.

He is enough to make a person crazy.

What I am beginning to learn is that I will never have my "perfect" child. I have my son. As a mother, part of me mourns for what I have "lost". Every time I am ready to bust, part of me weeps for the child that I thought I would have. Why aren't you a better behaved child? What did I do wrong?

The reality is this;

I did nothing wrong. He is who he is. In learning to work with who he is rather than try to bend him to my will I have discovered that he is a better child than I thought and I am a better parent than I thought. I have found cooperation, listening skills and an eagerness to please, rather than to anger. I have found the child that I had thought was lost, only it wasn't him that needed to change...

It was me.

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