Coos and Toddles

I have made a discovery.

I believe I have what is known as a Spirited Child. He is more of everything. More persistent, more energetic, more outgoing, more intense, more stubborn. Just More.

For so long I have felt like an awful parent. I spend many of my days frustrated beyond words at his tenacity and his defiance. Then I discovered that there are other children like my Mason out there. I am picking up a book from the library tomorrow about such children and how to be a good parent to a challenging kid. My husband is reluctant to accept the label but I desperately need to know that this is not about me being a bad parent, and to practice strategies that might save me some frustration. We will see if it helps. More to follow :)

My beautiful little girl is fussing and crying constantly of late. Not that I can complain though, she is sleeping 9 hours straight through the night, and then going back for three more directly after eating herself into a slack jawed stupor. It's tough when I know how sweet she can be to know that I have done everything (fed, changed, rocked etc), and still have her squalling inconsolably in my arms. Such is the life of a parent is what I am discovering. Perhaps it is due to the diaper rash I am treating with vaseline and cornstarch, perhaps a growth spurt. We shall see tomorrow I suppose as it is day three today and they say growth spurts only last three days.

On a more fabulous and green minded note, I have made the move to cloth diapers and I love them! I feel so much better about the environmental impact of cloth. I have found myself becoming more and more conscious of my footprint with my children. I want the world to be clean and beautiful for them and their children also.

Naptime is ticking away and there is much to be done.... rest... dishes... laundry.....

Ah, motherhood.

To Rise Above

I have spent every day this week Rising Above.
Crap keeps following me.
I am extremely grateful that I have a job that can help to support my family. I am grateful that my son is healthy and strong. I am grateful that my husband and I are both healthy.

I am bringing to me good things. I fill my head with positive thoughts and embody the change that I want to see in the world.

I am a happiness frickin' magnet... Bring on the warm fuzzies....

Get off the Couch and Bend

I have been stuck in Blah mode for the past couple of days. I just can't seem to shake it. I have tried sleep, chocolate and bitching to a girlfriend. None of them helped. So, what to do?

Yoga have been on my mind. I am seriously neglecting of this practice in my life. I am deeply in love with the practice of yoga. Problem is, I feel as though I have no community and no space in my life to support it. Everyone who "yoga's" is transient in my sphere of life. Time is another thing entirely. Mom to a beautiful toddler, wife to a handsome man and teacher to a roomful of hooligans I hardly have time to dress myself, let alone bend myself into heart and soul opening postures.

The other trouble is money. I have serious guilt about spending precious buckaroos to attend workshops and yoga classes. They are my resources, and guilt is unproductive, but it is there nonetheless.

What to do?

I have been searching the net for books to help me get into the mind space I need to be in. I am slightly unsure this is the correct route, but it is the one I am treading.

I will let you know how it goes :)

Happy Wednesday.

Blah

Feeling rather blah the last twenty four hours. I need either some motivation or a good solid day off to rest and recoup. Since I seem to have neither, it's on with my day.

Processing....

I recently came across some apparently age old advice that directed me to focus on the process rather than on the goal. One is more likely to achieve the goal that way. It's about making choices. Every time we turn around we are making a choice. Do we eat McDonald's or make our own lunch? Do we walk there or drive? Do we exercise or sit on the couch? Do we bitch about our day, or do we talk about the things we want to accomplish? Do we change, or do we stay the same? It's all a matter of choice.

We have the power to change ourselves. As a being, we are constantly in a state of flux. That person that we think we are changes from moment to moment. Our cells change, the position of our bodies change. The things we perceive change. Our thoughts change. That entity that we think of as ourselves is simply a shell that houses our true self, the one that observes our life from within. Are you really your haircut, or your jeans? Are you (and I truly hope you are not) your waist size? Or the shape of your breasts? The answer is no. These are all discrete parts of our outsides. Who we are is inside. We are tabula rasa, a blank slate on which we can write whatever we choose. Trouble is, we often choose the easy path, the one we recognize and are familiar with. Even if it hurts us. Even if we hate it. More often than not, we choose it. This is where suffering is born. Out of choosing from habit rather than from mindful reflection.

Do I sound like a self help junkie yet?

Choose to recreate yourself in your own ideal image. Choose happiness. Choose life. Choose you.

Blog day for the MOTHERS act.

On a different note, I also found some very interesting stuff on Postpartum Depression. This is a serious disease. I suffered from it after the birth of my son. It is debilitating. Sadly, very little is known about what causes PPD. I was one of the unfortunate few who suffer with it. It affects 20% of new moms. Only 7% of those get screened and properly treated. Something must be done. A Blog community that I am a part of is organizing some action and I would like to show my support by posting their button here. Please link to it. Take a look. Maybe save a life. Maybe mine. Maybe yours.





Take Your Soapbox and Go Home.

An interesting article in the blogosphere caught my eye tonight. It touches on an old controversy and struck a chord with me. I wanted to share it here.

Is God Pro Choice?

After reading this article I find myself chuckling over the amount of people there still are out there that feel the need to push their agendas on others . I realize that, just by putting this out there, this blogger was inviting a debate. I wonder sometimes, though, if these pro lifers lurk in the shadows of blogland just waiting for a Pro Choice article to be posted so they can assert their beliefs.

For Heavens sake people, take your soapbox elsewhere. We know who you are, and we know what you think. You make it crystal clear with all the dangerous protests you stage. Please, just live and let live. Worry about yourself and let the rest of the world do the same.